There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
