I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
