I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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