Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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