You smell like a Billy Joel song
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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