I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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