Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
