i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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