you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize