I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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