i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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