try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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