didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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