I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
