i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
