do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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