i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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