She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize