Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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