It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize