So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
