FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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