I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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