He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
