I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
