I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize