hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
