Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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