let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
