I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
