hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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