So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
