i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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