I think scott just propositioned me for sex
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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