he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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