i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
