Welp...herpes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
