I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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