Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize