I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
