it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
