with your own penis?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
