Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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