is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
