so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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