No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
