Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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