yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
