We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
