i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
