Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
