I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I did not marry a roomba.
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