We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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