i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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