we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm bleeding and have questions
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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