When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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