Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
